Waking up in Lima is terrible. First and foremost, long before my alarm wakes me up, or the sun rises, Lima wakes up. Not the people, but animals. Pigeons, dogs, and cats in this city are crazy, and continually make noises and sites that I never though I would experience.
Los perros…the dogs…they are everywhere. Strays inhabit each and every corner of the city, following you as you head to the corner bodega for a snack, or a beer for the night. Not only do they follow, bark and sniff, but all of the female dogs are draped with nipples, having each birthed multiple litters in their gross, dirty lifetimes. They also itch and scratch and rub as if their life depended on it…which is does, considering the fleas will eat them alive. The nurse at the travel clinic told me not to pet the animals – shouldn’t be a problem.
Las palomas…the pigeons….they are loud. They are loud, and everywhere. Our back courtyard is continually disrupted by these dumb birds that flap near your face when you are eating, and play amongst the clean clothes hanging on the line. Super sanitary, I know.
And los gatos…the cats….they have sex. Yeah. Sex. And lots of it. My neighborhood is filled with the sluttiest cats in the entire world. Now, for those of you who have never heard cats having sex, let me fill you in. My first morning here, I had a dream early in the morning of two young girl who were in a fight. The first girl would reach over and slap the second across the face, and she would yell out in pain, releasing the most horrifying, blood curtailing screech. Then, the second girl would return the slap, and the first would release a similar ear splitting sound. The sounds of this dream where actually the cats behind my house having sex. Imagine a 5 year old screaming at the top of her lungs, and you can accurately imagine the sound of cats getting it on.
That’s what I wake up to each morning.
You’re jealous, I know.
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